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Voice Post: At Mt. Parnassus Hospital

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Oct. 9th, 2007 | 02:17 pm

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“Hi, it’s been a while since I’ve made any posts and, in my mind, understandably so, I’ve just been going through a lot.

I’m now back here at Mount Parnassus in the hospital. I’ve been in and out of the hospital a lot, frequently, mostly dealing with pain due to metastasis, and now also looking at surgery due to metastasis because if I don’t try to clear some area around my T-9 (thoracic-9) part of my spine then I could become paralyzed and that’s just, you know, the top of the pile of crap that I’ve been dealing with.
There’s metastasis on my head and I’m getting an MRI of my brain. Needless to say that this is troubling me and Beth and my family quite a bit and everybody has been so incredibly supportive and I am so grateful for all of you for how supportive you’ve been. Thank you so much for that. Please continue to be, not only for me and for Beth Leigh and my family because we all need it right now.

I don’t even know how to look at this anymore. The amount of news I’ve gotten recently has created one of those moments where you just feel like all you can do is laugh because things can’t get any worse than this, you know?

My brain could be metastasizing; I could become paralyzed and there is a new area of metastasis three or four vertebrae up that I have to have irradiated now which is what I’m doing now and have been doing for the last few days. And in all of that I should include getting this other surgery to get an interscalene pump that will reduce the pain I feel throughout my body.

The amount of pain I feel throughout the body requires enough painkillers to, probably, to at least sedate a large animal like an elephant.

What can I say - my spirits – I’m so excited to be alive but I don’t want to suffer anymore. Suffering sucks. If there’s any hard part of this struggle it’s identifying with suffering and identifying with pain and allowing either one of those to overtake the last beautiful, loving moments I may have in my life. It’s my work.

That’s it for now.”

Transcribed by: [info]cauch

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Comments {31}

Thinking of you often -- sending good vibes

from: [info]muskeg_larry
date: Oct. 15th, 2007 02:31 am (UTC)
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Hi Jeremy, I'm sorry to have been out of contact with you for so long. Since it is hard to reach you by phone or e-mail it seemed it must be too stressful for you keep up with everyone, and until today I have had trouble logging on here. But I do think of you lots, and send positive vibes your way. There so much happening now, following on from your great work in getting Sealaska interested in forest stewardship, that I am amazed at how fast a snowball can get rolling once it has a good start. All of your work -- that project, your activism in the Great Bear Rainforest, and your humanitarian efforts in Asia -- and your energy, dedication and brilliance have been a tremendous inspiration to me. I hope for the day when your suffering is behind you and we can work again together on needed protections for the Tongass and Southeast Alaska. Working with you was always great fun. As you said, with the unknowns you are faced with, what is important now is the beauty and loving moments of life. And I just want you to know that whatever happens, you have made a big difference in many ways, your life has been worthwhile, and you have made the world a better place. My hope is that we will see you and Beth Leigh in Sitka sometime soon, with suffering behind you. Let it be! Best wishes, -- Larry

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Re: Thinking of you often -- sending good vibes

from: [info]muskeg_larry
date: Oct. 15th, 2007 02:33 am (UTC)
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All mashed into one big paragraph -- oh well! So much for technology.

-- Larry

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jerumi

Re: Thinking of you often -- sending good vibes

from: [info]jerumi
date: Oct. 15th, 2007 07:14 pm (UTC)
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Thanks so much Larry, its really nice to hear from you and I hope to see you or talk on the phone sometime soon.I realize that I'm not easy to get a hold of but I am really glad that I can at least sometimes catch up here.

Thanks so much for aknowleding some of the work that I've done Larry. I've heard that RAN is going to present me with an award on Thursday at their annual fundraiser "Revel" I am really hoping that I will be recovered enough form surgery to be able to make it there to receive it.

I miss you and Martina and Sitka and all of our friends in SE. I can't wait to get back up there brother.

With Love,
Jeremy

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