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Voice Post: another bump in the road? PSA at 14.64

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Aug. 4th, 2006 | 12:09 am

VoicePost
1081K 6:02
“I guess it's been a few weeks since I did my last post. In a way I have a lot to report, and then in another way not so much to report in terms of any changes for me.

I got another test a couple of days ago, mostly to measure my liver functions, and discovered that my PSA is still rising. So it's now at 14.64. But thats not a huge indicator that the new treatments, the ketaconazole and the hydrocortisone aren't working per se. It's too early to tell. So I still have about a 50% chance to see a positive change in terms of these treatments.

But nonetheless it's psychologically frightenting. You know, the androgen deprivation therapy that I'm on is generally the most effective treatment, and I'm already beginning not to respond to that treatment. So, that's frightening. That's all I can say.

I really appreciate friends and family reaching out, and most of all I just want to spend some quality time with folks and really enjoy the time together. Because, you know, honestly none of us really ever know when we're going to die, and when I got this disease I never have thought, and I still don't believe, it's going to kill me. That's either because I'm really good at denial, or it's not the case.

When I was backpacking in Burma one of the first times, we were deep in the jungle. We'd been backpacking through mine fields. We were with a senior doctor who's now a very good friend of mine, and at one point we were pretty scared. We were about a mile away as the bird flies from a huge battalion of Burmese soldiers, and we were asking him what our chances of survival were if they decided to attack the village that we were at. We'd been hearing heavy artillery for days and random gunshots, and landmines exploding. And he said, "You know, Jeremy, you just know right now isn't your time to die, and you'll know when it's your time to die, and that's what we believe here, and today is not the day."

And that's how I feel, and I suppose that's a good, positive way to think about all this. And it helps me stay strong and healthy. I feel healthy. I don't feel like the cancer is coming back, but my blood doesn't reflect that. So hopefully my blood will start reflecting my health as well. Anyway, that's all for this post.

Other news is that I'm running out of money in terms of the stuff people have donated to pay my medical bills. Thank you very much to those who have. For those who haven't and are intending to, now would be a good time. We are still in the process of trying to get the 501(c)(3) worked out to get the tax deductible money, those donations, coming in. That'll just be great, and we'll let you know more about that soon.

Well, the other exciting thing is that Beth and I are still very much in love, and we're looking forward to our wedding. We're going to throw a series of, well first engagement parties, and after we get married, wedding parties to celebrate. They will be very inclusive. We actually decided not to have the wedding in Baja, because it was creating way too much stress for us its also a bit of a financial burden and it's exclusive and so the combination of all of those made us decide that we're going to go for a small court wedding, and then just have a series of potluck parties which I think are just going to be much funner, and much easier for all of us. And we're still going to go to Baja and celebrate our time together.

So. Anyhow, I'll talk to you all really soon. Bye bye.”

Transcribed by: jerumi

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Comments {6}

(Deleted comment)

jerumi

Re: Is this how to post at transcription?

from: jerumi
date: Aug. 7th, 2006 12:53 am (UTC)
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No, but thank you whoever you are for doing this. In order to transcribe, you have to login to livejournal (https://www.livejournal.com/create.bml) which then gives you a username. After you have that you can just let me know and I will add you to the transcribers list. After you are added you are notified by e-mail whenever I make a voice post and then you go to the voice post and click "transcribe." But this time I will just take what you have typed and paste it into the transcription area.

Thanks!
J

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(no subject)

from: rockgardyn
date: Aug. 6th, 2006 02:35 pm (UTC)
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Hey Jer, I'm happy to transcribe for you but (technically challenged) can't seem to figure out how? xxoo jen

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jerumi

I have to set you up.

from: jerumi
date: Aug. 7th, 2006 12:44 am (UTC)
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Thanks Jen, you just have to let me know and then I can set you up as a transcriber. At that point you will be e-mailed whenever there is a new post and you will have the option "transcribe" which you just select.

xoxo
Jer

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jerumi

Re: I have to set you up.

from: jerumi
date: Aug. 7th, 2006 05:02 am (UTC)
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OK, I've added you as a transcriber, you should now be notified every time there is a new post. Thanks Jen!

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Oh Jer

from: anonymous
date: Aug. 9th, 2006 05:08 am (UTC)
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I am so sad to hear this. I am glad I just saw you, because it makes me have more faith in what you say about feeling strong.

I love you, brother, and I'll talk to you soon.

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jerumi

Re: Oh Jer

from: jerumi
date: Aug. 10th, 2006 04:48 am (UTC)
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Thanks Lani. Ya know, the most important thing really is how I'm feeling. Sometimes people will have bad test results for years but feel fine. So hopefully I'll keep feeling that way.

It was really great to see you too & I Love you Lots,

Jer

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