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Voice Post: 4th Ceremony and Oregon possibility

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Aug. 11th, 2007 | 10:55 pm

860K 4:43
“Well, I had my fourth healing ceremony yesterday, and it was definitely one of the slower, less entertaining ones that I’ve done.

It’s interesting because it’s not a real issue for me because, for me, being in the healing is incredibly intense. Actually, I feel lighter today and less pain in my pelvis, and just a greater sense of knowing I can win this fight, and wanting to stay alive and feeling very loved by family and friends and, especially, all of the people who have ghost danced with me in the past and that continue to now.

The interesting thing is that, I think that, and Miguel and I have been talking about this – he doesn’t usually work with non-Native peoples. Of course, everybody up here, when they hear “ritual”, they think automatically that they are going to participate and/or be entertained, maybe a little more, and not necessarily just be a witness or actually asked to focus and hold the space of love open and just give time and energy to the healing and to what Miguel is doing. This one seemed a bit like that – people were falling asleep and people were leaving, and the energy didn’t really build until third round.

At that point, it kind of exploded. I was so moved and so touched by the people that sang with me in the ceremony and moaned with me and groaned with me and all of that. Not that you necessarily had to, but in this ceremony, that’s what made things take off.

That was really, really healing for me.

I think there are lessons in this. It’s definitely that every ceremony is different, and, you know, the frogs don’t always sing and the Spirit doesn’t always show up in tangible electricity. Sometimes it’s slow and people fall asleep and sometimes things go for a long, long time, and that’s all okay too. It’s still healing for me either way.

What else have I got to say?

Just got back from Oregon and it’s looking like I’m going to head down the path of doing the mini allogeneic bone marrow transplant, and that’s incredibly intense. I’ll talk more about that later. There are certainly big risks but there is also the potential for a cure. With me, right now, there are big risks every single day. Even when I’m not ghost dancing, I’m still dancing in the world of the dead and in the world of the living every day. I’m more attached to my suffering and my agony, and, hopefully find a place on most days to breathe and remember everything is ok no matter what, and that I’m going to be ok no matter what.

What’s most important is to be present and be in contact with people that I love and cherish. I love visitors – visiting is good. Please come visit. That’s inspiring to me because it gives me more reasons to live…not that I need reasons but I need reminders.

I guess that’s it on this post…that’s a lot.
I’ll post again soon.”

Transcribed by: cauch

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Comments {3}

always there in spirit

from: lanihorn
date: Aug. 12th, 2007 06:26 am (UTC)

Hey Brother,

I'm glad that even though the ceremony was different this time, it still seems to have given you something important.

We miss you and think of you often.



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Keep up the fight!

from: kilv
date: Aug. 28th, 2007 03:56 pm (UTC)

Thank you for continuing to share. It helps to focus our prayers.

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Friends come? thanks

from: anonymous
date: Sep. 6th, 2007 01:58 pm (UTC)

enter text? test, sorry


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